Conversations With My Toddler: The Birds and The Bees

Is it sad that I had my first sex talk with my son before he was even 3 years old? Well, it's true, and it went a little something like this:

Me: Alright Tyler, let's put your undies on and cover up your wee-wee
Tyler: No, cover up YOUR wee-wee
Me: Mommy doesn't have a wee-wee Tyler!
Tyler: Yes you do
Me: No I don't
Tyler: Yes you do!
(meanwhile I'm thinking Really?! You're going to argue about this with me son?) 
Me: No I don't, only boys have wee-wees
Tyler: Does Jules have a wee-wee?
Me: No, Jules is a girl so she doesn't have a wee-wee
Tyler: I have a wee-wee, Daddy has a wee-wee, you don't have a wee-wee, and Jules doesn't have a wee-wee

...yup, my child is a genius.

And even better was a our talk about boobies...

Tyler: Does Daddy have boobies?
Me: No, only Mommies have boobies so they can feed their babies.
*Tyler lifts up Jordon's shirt and sees his nipples*
Tyler: Daddy does have boobies!
Me: Well, those aren't exactly boobies...
Tyler: Does Jules have boobies?
Me: Well kinda...
Tyler: Show me your boobies!

I sure hope I never hear those four words out of my son's mouth again!

7 Reasons Babies Put Everything In Their Mouths

My daughter Juliana will put ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in her mouth. Today I had both kids out "helping" me weed the garden, and I spent more time pulling rocks out of Juliana's mouth than pulling weeds out of the garden. Then later in the day while wading in our baby pool, I caught her reaching over the edge of the pool trying to put gravel from the driveway into her mouth.

So I caught myself thinking, "why in the world does my baby want to put EVERYTHING in her mouth?!" I figure if I asked her, "Juliana, WHY are you trying to put that rock in your mouth?!" she would say...

1. You don't feed me enough.

2. Tastes about the same as that organic vegetable crap you feed me.

3.  I have pebbles breaking through my gums right now, so I think I deserve to chew on a few rocks.

4. I've been on this earth for almost 9 months already and I still don't know what a rock tastes like.

5. I don't get enough attention.

6. I'm on a low carb diet.

7. Because I want to.

And I'm sure I'll be getting plenty of #7 when she finally learns to talk. Oh parenthood, gotta love it!